Sleep Like a Baby!

One minute I'm full of energy; feeling like I can complete the 101 things on my to-do-list before lunch and still have time to get some shopping in and perhaps get my nails done. The next minute I am moody - irritated by life itself - because I'm fighting off sleep and loosing the battle miserably! Welcome to the life of me: a parent with a new born!

You know that feeling of waking up fresh and rearing to go in the morning... no? Well neither do I!  (If you do know the feeling, chances are you don't have a new-born to care for, chances are... you don't have kids!) I have forgotten what on Earth it feels like to wake up fully re-charged and ready to take the world on! All memories of being rudely awoken by the 5am alarm and then repeatedly hitting snooze for an hour before stumbling out of bed and getting ready for work, has been well and truly erased.  I am now accustomed to the piercing cries of a human that has only been on this planet for 30 days: that is my wake up call / alarm. It's an alarm with no snooze button! Don't you ever wonder how such an unpleasant sound can come from such a cute looking bundle of joy? I can't be the only one that wonders such thoughts... 

Anyway, if you can relate to the feeling of tiredness and you're a parent feeling like you are running on empty it's ok! Tell guilt to get lost. You are not a robot. It's normal to feel this way at times... just make sure you don't feel this way all the time! I encourage you to do what you can to ensure you get some rest incorporated into your crazy schedule. Here are my top 5 tips that help me:

1. Sleep when baby sleeps - the dishes can wait. 

2. The dishes can wait - do what is most important, don't try to do it all!

3. Accept support from family and close friends. Let grandma hold the baby if it means you can put your feet up for a while. Heck, let grandma do the dishes!

4. If you have a toddler or school aged children in the mix, then Cbeebies & CBBC are your friends! Let the kids load the dishwasher too (if they're old enough). If they can't... the dishes can wait!

5. Power nap! 15 minutes here and there (when you can) means the difference between being mum-zilla and super-mum for the day. You may just have enough energy for the dishes =)

All in all, do what works for you! There is no right or wrong way of doing this parenting thing. Do what works with your family and ignore those that don't help by dishing out negative comments... just like I ignore those that complain about the dishes that I evidently don't do in my house! 

I hope this helps you! Please share with another mum or dad - hopefully they are not too sleep deprived to read it! =)

Instagram - Poetry:         Evangeline_the_poet

Instagram - MumLife:    Being_mum_being_you

Loose Yourself to Find Yourself

Eat, express, feed baby, sleep, do laundry and repeat! This has been my life for the past 25 days. Eat, poop, sleep and repeat! That has been the baby's life for the 25 days he has been on this planet that we call Earth. Mundane much? Don't even get me started! 

You parents out there will know just how easy it is to loose yourself in the mundane day to day to-do-list of parenting. I for one get lost all the time and often find myself spending days just trying to plan a route out, in order to be found again. Let's face it, nobody likes being lost (unless you're a wanted criminal) so why do we allow ourselves to be so?

It dawned on me today that getting lost in spontaneity is the key to staying found. As I walked along the high-street, carrying out a task on my never ending to-do-list (going to the bank) I saw a chic looking café. Stopping in my tracks to admire it and take note of the name - in order to plan a visit one day - spontaneity screamed loudly in my ear. 

"Visit it now!" it shouted. 

"But how can I?" I replied sheepishly. "I have one hundred and one things to do today. I can't possibly sit in a café, drinking tea. I'm not one of those mums. 

"Visit it now!" it exclaimed again. 

After pondering a while, I decided to go with the loud voice screaming at me like an angry dictator. Visiting a café is not something I would normally do, but I am so pleased I did it! Whilst in the warmth of the café, taking in the sweet aroma of coffee and cakes and listening to the Jazz saxophone oozing gently out of the speakers mounted on the wall, I did something I have not done in a while. I relaxed! The business of the world didn't matter, everything paused and my to-do-list was out of mind. I was enjoying sipping tea and eating cake in a café. I was one of those mums!

I felt refreshed and proud of myself for simply living life a little. Some of you reading this may think the idea of going to sit in a café to drink tea is not living life... fair enough, but for someone who is constantly preoccupied with nappies, breast pumps, laundry, sleep deprivation etc ... it is LIVING LIFE. To satisfy those of you rolling your eyes right now, I also went ice-skating, and go-karting earlier this week - getting home after midnight... a different type of spontaneity but spontaneity nonetheless... so you can stop with the eye rolling. 

If you're reading this and you are hopelessly lost in that mundane to-do-list of parenting, please try to find yourself by doing an activity that you wouldn't normally do. It can be an activity with the kids or without... just shake it up a little. Your activity may be go-karting or going to the café like I did ... or it may be going to see a film with the kids or bungee jumping (hopefully without the kids). Whatever constitutes spontaneity for you - have a go. Do something different. Hopefully it will help you find you again. 

Don't stay lost guys, continually search and make sure you find yourself every once in a while! Say yes to spontaneity - it certainly helped me - give it a chance to help you!

-Evangeline The Poet

Hair Raising Outing

18 days post-partum and I took both kids out today... My 3 year old daughter looked lovely and cute in pig-tail bunches and a cute outfit. Little man looked fresh and cute after a warm bath.. I took time with them making sure they were presentable and because they were ready I quickly threw on any old outfit and left the house. As I shut the front door I looked down at my navy blue casual skirt and my old grey sandals and white top... ‘not bad’ I thought. I had managed to pull myself together ... I felt pleased with myself, but the feeling was very short lived. I looked on in horror at my legs that had visible hairs proudly showing themselves off to the world. I hadn’t shaved my legs🤦🏽‍♀️ ... 

Once upon a time this would’ve sent me straight back inside, to the bathroom, reaching for a razor or my electric shaver. I surprised myself when I shrugged my shoulders and began to walk towards the car - baby sleeping in  the baby car seat I was carrying and 3 year old happily in towe. Why didn’t I go back to shave? Well you mums will know from experience that if I went back indoors to shave, my 3 year old would suddenly throw a tantrum about the sky being blue and get annoyed because I can’t explain to her why she can’t change its colour to pink (her favourite colour at the moment). After that, baby would do a random poo explosion and would require a whole outfit change and the cat would’ve eaten the goldfish and knocked over the fish water in the process. I would’ve slipped on the fish water and hurt myself and eventually abandoned the whole outing all together in favour of going to A&E to assess my injuries...By the way we don’t have pets ... but with kids anything can happen lol... 

All in all, going out without shaving my legs was a small price to pay for a peaceful outing with two kids!!! I know some of you mums and dads reading this can so relate! Like if you can relate:) #mumtales #lifeofamum #mumlife #mums #mummy #mumstories #kids #children #kidslife #lifewithkids #babyboy #princess #raisingqueens #raisingkings #mamma #legs #hairylegs #mumofboys #mummies #parent #lifeofaparent #lifeofparents #igmums

Changes - Not Tupac - Just Changes =)

Have you ever felt like you don't quite know who you are anymore? Or perhaps the people around you say that you have changed so much that they don't recognise you anymore? If this is the case... then you're most likely changing or going through a change! Let me shed a little bit of light/hope.

It doesn't have to be a bad thing. Life is about learning. It's a journey we go through and we will develop different view points, ideas, habits as we go along the way. Have you ever heard the saying that change is the only constant in life? Well if you haven't, now you have! If you have changed / are changing ... then embrace it... it's going to happen some time or other!

Of course, when I say embrace the changes, I am talking about positive changes. Any change that doesn't mentally, physically and emotionally make you worse is a good change (in my opinion).

Change is hard to deal with at times. Everybody loves familiarity! Here is the thing, if it's happening then it's going to happen. If you fight it, then it will only make things harder. There have been days when I have been chilling with friends and I feel differently towards them. I feel like we are drifting apart or that they are not part of my future journey. I don't immediately cut them off... not at all, but I don't fight the drifting. I don't try to hold on to people that walk away or drift off. I take it down to change and embrace it!


Take a deep breath, buckle your seatbelt and embrace the ride. Life is to be enjoyed and you must try to find enjoyment in every moment. There is no point in stressing over something that you can not control, so go with it (remember as long as it is not harmful to you in anyway).

View change as a good thing! We change our clothes, underwear, toothbrushes hair styles (some of us) etc. – these are all positive changes! Make the change that you are going through, a positive one too and embrace it!

Just saying =)

Top 10 Don'ts of Wedding Planning

So, he's just popped the question.... happy days!

If you said YES, this Blog entry is for you... 

If you said NO... girl, sorry but you've clicked the wrong link!

So for all you YES ladies: CONGRATULATIONS!

Now it's time to plan, plan, plan!

There is so much information out there about wedding planning, and if you are really bad at planning, there is no excuse, just hire a wedding planner... or get your girlfriends and family to help you out!

My Top 10 DON'Ts of Wedding Planning

(Check out my video for more on this topic - link is below)

Stress!

Don't stress... it's one day of your life! Do your best with planning and let it all fall into place. The most important thing is that the marriage is a happy and loving one, even if nothing goes to plan on the wedding day, the marriage is more important! Enjoy the day and don't throw the punches, just roll with them.

Get lost with the fairies

Ladies, keep your plans realistic. Set a realistic budget with your partner, stick to it and save money where you can. There is nothing worse than starting a marriage in thousand of pounds in debt, just because you wanted a 7 tier cake, 5 horses with a golden carriage and a six figure wedding dress. Men are usually good at keeping to budget so this is where you can let your beau's skills shine! (P.s don't let him talk you out of EVERYTHING though, compromise is the key word here.)

Get lost in the hype

Remember to still spend time away from wedding planning with your fiancé. It's very easy to get consumed with all the planning. Don't forget to chill out sometimes, go to the park, go and watch a film, have dinner or something... anything that isn't associated with the wedding.We all need a break sometimes.

Be a push over

Allow your family, friends or anyone to take over or bully you (or your partner) into doing anything you don't want to do. Protect your partner and always stand in the middle as the peace maker between your partner and your family with regards to disagreements. This way you protect their relationships with each other. Overall remember that what YOU & YOUR PARTNER says, goes  (just communicate in a loving manner and allow those around you some freedom, after all they only want to celebrate with you).

Turn into Bride-zilla!

As much as you shouldn't be a push over, make sure you are balanced. Do not turn into that crazy bride that nobody can talk to any more. Check yourself constantly. 

Be a lastminute.com bride

Just don't do it, You won't be doing yourself any favours. 

Forget to plan your honeymoon

Even if your partner is taking care of this area, try and help as much as you can. The quicker this is sorted out the better (especially if you are travelling abroad). Oh and don't forget passports!!!!

Try and do everything alone

You have friends for a reason. Allocate! (more on this in the video)

Don't risk the perfect wedding dress look because of a random BRA!

Please, please, please make sure you wear the exact same bra that you intend to wear on your big day, whilst trying on your wedding dress and going for fittings. You will not believe the drama an ill-fitting bra can cause on the day. You can do without the stress! For those of you that think this is not a big deal, believe me when I say that a change of bra can make all the difference! A bra can affect your wedding dress fastening up correctly and more importantly COMFORTABLY. This point is important also for those who do not want their bra showing on the day and for those who wish to ensure that everything is supported properly! Don't let this be an issue on the day, once you've got your dress, get the right BRA asap... and try them together asap!  

Skip Breakfast - (For the wedding day)

When the big day arrives... Do not skip breakfast! Trust me on this one... just don't do it!

Incorporate breakfast in your day! You can have breakfast with your girls, the family... whoever you like... just make sure you push food past those lips of yours! You're going to need to keep your energy levels up! Also, if you can, never be too far away from a drink. Things can get overwhelming and you can easily get thirsty. I would suggest water, lemonade or something clear. Drinking a coloured beverage whilst having a white wedding dress on (if that's the colour you go for) is a recipe for trouble.  

So, those are my top 10

What would you  include in your top 10 list that perhaps I have left out? 

Leave a comment ....and then go check out my video on YOUTUBE for more on this topic!

Don't forget to subscribe!

Instagram: Evangeline_The_Poet

Video Link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDsciF9ObeQ

Hair Talks

Black women's hair!

This is probably one of the most talked about subjects amongst black women. It really shouldn't be a big deal, but for some it really is! Whilst there are many deep issues surrounding this topic, such as self confidence, health, perception in the work place and much more... I think it is about time we just let it go! We all have a choice of how we want to style our hair. As long as you are educated about your decision, not inflicting your views on others and not harming yourself or anyone else.... then who cares how you are wearing your hair or if your hair is even yours!

What happened to: "hi, let's get to know each other"

Nowadays people walk on by 'coz they judge by the cover

Got an awesome storyline written on the pages

Been waiting for someone to read you for ages

But you don't glitter or sparkle nicely like gold 

So you're left on the shelf lonely and cold

Don't worry because the outer shell fades

And what is left are the words on the page

So don't you stress no matter what you do

Someone will one day take the time to read you

*Check out my Hair Talks video about my weekend in Woodgreen*

and share your personal experiences too!

The Life of a Wife

As little girls, many of us ladies perhaps dreamt of our Prince Charming coming to sweep us off our feet and whisk us away into our 'forever after'. Many of us perhaps even engaged in role play games, in which we would force some poor unsuspecting little boy to be our husband and play the role of daddy in the house, whilst we played the role of the wife and mummy. Playing 'house' is a classic role play game that children play in schools and nurseries even today. From an early age, us ladies seem to have a solid understanding of what a wife is, what her role in the household is and what is expected of her. With all of this knowledge under our belts, you would think that it would be plain sailing for us ladies when the rings exchange, the vows are said and the kiss is signed, sealed and delivered. Everything at first may appear to be easy... until we dive head first into it. Then for many of us, we realise that we need arm bands to stay afloat or a lifeguard to stop us from drowning. Even for those who are able to swim independently, there are still times when we need to come up for air.

Now, personally I was never one to play 'house.' I was too busy doing kart wheels and handstands to care about things like that. However, I do remember from an early age, understanding that being a wife meant cooking, cleaning and looking after children. My mother and aunties made sure this was drummed into my head with comments such as... "if you don't learn to cook, what will your husband eat?" or "if you don't tidy your house, where will he put his feet?" At that age, quite frankly, I did not care because firstly, I didn't have a husband nor did I have any plans to get one. I was a kid for goodness sake! Secondly, I was too busy spending time with my head in a good book or perfecting my kart wheels and handstands. Naturally I rebelled against the notion that a woman should cook and clean. I resisted the idea that my brother should relax and enjoy himself whilst I slaved away in the kitchen cooking for the whole family. I believed in being treated equally! Even with my resistance, there seemed to be no getting away from the chores that had my name on them simply because I was female and evidently in training to be a wife. The cooking, the dishes and the cleaning were all women's jobs so I was told. I'm pleased that I never believed that then and don't believe it now! It's these very ideologies that are instilled in us from a young age that can be the very weight that makes us sink as grown women when we dive into marriage.

Being a wife is a journey that you embark on with God and your husband. The journey will be a lot easier if all negative preconceptions of being a wife (that come from family, friends, media etc) are thrown out the window! My advice is to start from a clean slate and pray and ask God how to be a good wife (after all God invented the institution of marriage). Have a discussion with your hubby, or fiancé and explore what he needs in a life partner. Perhaps he doesn't care if you can cook because he is a chef. Instead he might need someone with business acumen to help launch his catering business for example. If all you are doing is spending hours slaving away in the kitchen, fussing about cooking the recipes your mama taught you, when he can whip up a 3 course meal for the whole family in 20min (and better still, enjoys doing it) then you are not really helping him. His need for a business savvy queen is not being met. Discuss with your partner what he needs from you as a wife and vice versa and start from there. Also discuss expectations because whilst you may have been raised to think that all a wife does is cook, clean and pop out the kids whilst a man goes out to work, it may be that he expects you to help earn the bacon to build for a better future. If you are not open minded then you may find yourself sinking. Every marriage is different. The main thing is that you are following the biblical principles of marriage, staying open minded to each other and aiming to meet each other's needs in the marriage. There is no room for your parents' or friends' ideologies in your marriage. As a wife you are one with your husband; you work things out together.

Now all the above does not mean you should not seek advice from trusted friends or marriage counsellors if needed. Just season all advice dished up, with a pinch of salt.

I could write and tell you what my personal life as a wife is like in more detail but telling you about my lovely marriage would take far too long plus everyone's experience is different anyway. Everyone will have the good times and the not so good times... the main thing is to continue to choose to love each other.


The life of a wife is so many things
The life of a wife is more than the rings
The life of a wife is about holding your own
The life of a wife means that lil girl has grown
The life of a wife means staying close with Christ
He wrote the guidelines - the way to do it right!